In Primary Three (1992), my teacher asked me what
I wanted to become when I grow up. I told her: "Footballer"; It was a
Religious Education assignment. Unfortunately, three years later when my mum
moved from my birthplace (Jinja, Uganda) to the nation's capital (Kampala)
where my dad was working and residing, my professional soccer dream literally
collapsed and died. I dreamt of doing graphics instead. Nevertheless, I kept
playing and watching football just for fun plus became a diehard Gooner for
life in 1998. Here are my Favourite XI Footballers of all-time (not necessarily
FIFA's Greatest but includes seven Europeans, six Rightfooted outfield players,
five Gunners, four South Americans, three Black-skinned players, two Barcelona
legends and one Englishman) in a 4-3-2-1 formation.
I would select them to face off with other Planets, or against Marvel Superheroes. High five, we are one!
I would select them to face off with other Planets, or against Marvel Superheroes. High five, we are one!
If you ask me why I did not choose Yashin,
Shilton, Zoff, Buffon, Kahn, Stein, Neuer, Chilavert, Seaman, Lehmann,
Schmeichel, Enyeama, (Ugandan) Wasswa or Cassillas, the reason is simple: Cech
plays like an alien from outerspace but with citizenship from Czech Republic.
He doesn't make too many mistakes that lead to a goal. Cech also holds the
record for Most Clean Sheets in English Premier League history, and his
protective headgear looks really helpful for a goalie. Like (American rapper)
Ice Cube sings, "Better check (Petr Cech) yourself before you wreck
yourself!"
2. Hector BELLERIN (Rightback)
Definitely the Youngest on my List, Bellerin
makes it here because of his calmness, good dribbling skills and Flash Gordon
speed; The Spaniard is even faster than the Fastest 100 Metre Olympian (Usain
Bolt) in a 40 metre dash. I could have listed Lauren, Lahm, Alves, Cafu or another, however The Flash is just too fast,
holds the beacon here for the quickfooted, young and future generations.
3. Franz BECKENBAUER (Centreback Captain)
His football genesis was before I was born, but
archive videos don't lie. The German had authority at the back and when moving
forward through the middle, truly "Der Kaiser". He was the First
Person to win the World Cup as a Player (1974) and then a Coach (1990), my
second World Cup while a humanbeing. I bet West Germany's World Cup-winning
captain Matthaeus was inspired by his coach. Real Madrid's Spanish defender
Hierro could also fit here.
Even with an already good "Old Guard"
led by Tony Adams, Arsenal seemed to become stronger at centreback when a
youthful Campbell joined in the 2002 Premiership and FA Cup double-winning plus
Unbeaten Away record-making period (The Gunners attributed it to a
"winning mentality" and striving to feel at home in away venues
before matchday). The Englishman was also an Invincible 49er in his third
season and scored the first ever Arsenal goal in a Champions League Final. One
of the two things I respect about Tottenham Hotspurs (Arsenal's Biggest Rivals
from the same North London neighbourhood) is selling their Sol to Arsenal. The
other is David Ginola while he played for Spurs in the early 90s, but I did not
add him to this list.
A powerful leftfoot coupled with energetic bursts
forward made the Brazilian a very reliable left back. Add his wall-breaking power
shots plus swerving freekicks, and we have a complete defence here. No
substitution required unless injured.
The Wildman at Highbury was a solid rock in the
midfield. Sometimes, opponents gave him a right of way and he won several
tackles when he did not have the ball, the epitome of Arsenal's traditional
"retreating defence" method. The Senegal-born Frenchman alongside his
1998 World Cup winning countrymate Emmanuel Petit plus Ian Wright (since 1994)
were the main reasons I became a Gooner. Thierry Henry, Robert Pires and the
other lads just made it last even longer, now it's hard to break free. One
night, I felt my heart melt when Arsenal
was trailing by three goals in a Champions League knockout game at the
Emirates. So, I just slept in order to wake up with a renewed heart. I don't
believe tears, irritability nor suicide are an option, there is always a time
for the Sweetest Revenge.
7. Zinedine ZIDANE (Midfielder)
On a good day, playing at 100 percent efficiency,
the (Algerian) French legend nicknamed Zizou was simply the Best Playmaker, no
head-butting! He also collects the ball from deep and has a wonderful 360
degree stepover. GOD save the King! If Zidane didn't make it to my list, then this position could
have been filled by Pires. He can surely act a Jesus flick with that face, but
I liked "le Footballeur" due to the way he cut in from the left wing
for France in Euro 2000 and crossed to teammates for a goal. He also scored his
own successes at Arsenal, some of which were very fantastic before leaving in
2006. Remember Pires against Boateng and Schmeichel at Aston Villa or his
hattrick against Southampton? Classic, shaking my head up and down with a
smile! Iniesta also fits the bill.
8. Mesut OEZIL (Midfielder)
The Turkish-German Assist Master is
so gifted with vision in the modern game that you will be forgiven if you think
he actually knows in advance what his teammate in a goalscoring position is going
to do with his pass. Any player can make an assist, but only Mesut makes an
"oezil". The Oxford English Dictionary has to add it as one of its three new word entrys some year: to 'ozil' is 'to assist someone'. Place Romario, Pele or Messi ahead of him, and the game is
on. ALLAHu akbar (GOD is the greatest)! I left out Baggio, Guardiola, Xavi, Rivaldo
and Figo, but they can fill in!
9. Lionel MESSI (Striker)
9. Lionel MESSI (Striker)
Fast, sleek and out of this world, the leftfooted
Argentine Midget makes football look very exciting. Do you remember the
Champions League goal against Bayern Munich's World Cup winners Boateng and
Neuer at the Nou Camp in 2015 (Retribution) or Copa Del Rey Final finish
against a difficult Athletic Bilbao? Field him on the right flank in your
tactics and witness magic that is Messi-merising (Allow me to quip here). Even
without a World Cup medal which his great countrymate Maradona won, Messi is
still the Most Agile Player in Club Football history on earth and neighbouring
planets because he can run fast and dribble at the same time past five
different players. Sorry Cristiano Ronaldo, but Lionel Andres Messi (Leo) is
the King, game over, no worries!
10. ROMARIO (Striker)
He was a huge inspiration for my dream of
becoming a footballer and shone at the FIFA World Cup USA '94 for winners
Brazil. Deceptively sluggish, Romario was very lethal in Zone 14 (Penalty box),
a typical fox in the box who scored over 1000 goals. Real Madrid's Raul
Gonzalez was also built for this. No room for Wright, Cantona and Barnes plus Roger Milla and George Weah from Africa but they were great too! Na na na na Giroud!
