OLI, King of the Air

In my mother tongue (Lugbara) radiating from Arua (The Sweetest Place since 1914) plus spoken in East and Central Africa, "air" is called "oli". That describes Olivier Giroud, but on facebook, twitter and whatsapp, fans usually remark that Oli is slow and misses many chances. Even Thierry Henry worried that Arsenal cannot win Premiership with Giroud, yet it's a team effort. Sometimes when Giroud comes on as a Supersub, he actually scores and deserves to start. He just plays the game his own way. In the French Ligue 1, he showed his instinctive aerial power during Montpellier's maiden-trophy-winning season sparking interest from Arsenal.

Thierry played more minutes and thrived, but Oli, despite injury last season, has more goals since his 2012 debut than every current EPL player except Man City's Aguero. Oli's goal ratio keeps improving: scored every 2.8 games in 2013, 2.5 in 2014, 1.8 in 2015. This season he might get 1.5. He also has the Most Headed Goals making him the King of the Air in England. Instead of complaining, let the man explore his aerial prowess! His hold-up play is fine and also provides assists. Oli is not a flamboyant showoff, but gets the job done. I hope he scores a trophy-winning penalty against Man City one day or has he already done it in the 2014 Community Shield though it wasn't a penalty?

Someone once said that Oli cannot score against Big Clubs, but he has scored against Man City, Man United, Liverpool, Leicester, Swansea, West Ham and Tottenham. Maybe Chelsea is the only big one! Even a three game suspension for headbutting a QPR player last season did not affect his scoring. His consolation goal against Man Utd at the Emirates showed the progressive way Arsenal needed to try instead of the repeatedly failed walk-in goals some fans did not fancy. Davor Suker, Thomas Vermaelen and Lukas Podolski (who has the Most Powerful Leftfoot in Football and Best Goals to Games Ratio among Gunners) were progressive, and so is Alexis. I bet Jonathan Nkosa, Jean Rwamukaga (Kaahwa), Emmanuel Ogwal, Samuel Edgar Tinyiro, Allan Kiyinji, Onya Kokas, Sharpe Cole Nimusiima, Alice Mbayahi, Brens Willie Wambedde, Queen Elizabeth II, Olive Eyotaru, Jagmeet Singh, Andrew Sebastian, Yash Mishra and Ian Kateregga aka Pepe (Gooners) would agree: progressive soccer is thrilling like a fast two wheeler through a valley.

As a sub in the 2015 FA Cup final, he netted Arsenal's fourth against Aston Villa. Oli is strong and moves cleverly like an airfox in the box. His headed goals this season against Swansea away and Sunderland at home (cancelling out his unfortunate own goal) set him a class apart from other strikers. I'm glad one of the goals in his first competitive hattrick for Arsenal in the Champions League was a header (He actually scored his first Arsenal hattrick in a pre-season friendly). 

As a Gooner, I appreciate his efforts. Two FA Cups and two Community Shields in his first three seasons is commendable, considering Arsenal's nine trophyless seasons since 2005. 

Alexis brings 17 MegaWatt enthusiasm, Walcott adds blistering pace, Cazorla is ambidextrous, Bellerin is the Flash, Coquelin runs the midfield, Cech is worth over 15 guaranteed points per season, Koscielny is Boss, Wilshere oozes fearlessness, Elneny is superb, Wenger is "The Invincible One" but Oli takes care of Arsenal's airspace, roger that Mertesacker!

#MyArsenalReport: Top Moments in 2015 (by Aiko)

The Calendar year 2015 was unforgettable as a Gooner from Uganda. Here are my Top Moments:

Before the 2015 FA Cup Final in May, my Greatest Wish while awake was for Arsenal to win by four goals plus specifically Walcott and Giroud to be on the scoresheet. Like they say, "Be very careful what you wish for, you might receive it...": Arsenal beat Aston Villa by 4-0, Walcott scored the first goal and Giroud came on as a Supersub to score the fourth.

During the January transfer, Wenger brought in only Krystian Bielik and some fans complained. Wenger is my manager and even if he ignores transfer suggestions, he still fills seats. Just sit and watch! In the summer, he bought only Petr Cech who went on to equal the 169 game Premiership Clean Sheet Record held by David James and then break it in the very last game before the year ended.

Much earlier on 7th February, Arsenal scored first in the 11th minute but a Harry Kane brace gave Tottenham a 2-1 win. Sweet North London derby success literally rejected Arsenal that day, but in the 2016 Capital One (League) Cup 4th Round at White Hart Lane, Mathieu Flamini stole the show with two great goals. 

On 12th September, there was a lot of midfield interplay. Stoke City played hard but Arsenal made sure their two goals in either half (by Walcott, then a header from Giroud) were not cancelled out.

The Emirates witnessed a hostile Champions League visit on 29th September by Olympiacos (Piraeus who equaled club record with 16 straight wins at the start of 2016 Superleague Greece). They showed absolutely no respect for Arsenal's home advantage and scored first. Walcott equalised but they scored a second time after Ospina's mishap on the goalline trying to stop an in-swinging corner shot. Alexis equalised for Arsenal but one minute later, the Greeks struck their winner. Goals were flowing like a broken drainage channel relegating Arsenal to the bottom of their table. Only one team could win that game and they came well prepared. The return leg required the Gunners to win away by a two goal margin or 2-3 and above to qualify to the knockout second round and face Barcelona. Giroud rose to the occasion and scored his first competitive Arsenal hattrick without reply. 

Another great Champions League night was on 20th October against Bayern Munich when a masterclass in winning back ball possession by quickfooted right back Hector Bellerin created a last minute goal assist for Oezil. Mesut tucked it away with a skilful volley but needed the referee's goal confirmation from goalline technology first before his kneeslide celebration. Arsenal shouldn't have celebrated too much before the final party because Bayern revenged 5-1 in Germany and jokingly remarked that they didn't know Bellerin who missed the return game.

With a seemingly impossible mission to get past Manchester United because of recent history, lots of movement, solidarity and unknown codes among Gunners on 4th October suddenly gave Arsenal hope for success as early as the 5th minute. A moment later, Oezil doubled the advantage and by the 19th minute, Alexis had rifled in from distance his second but Arsenal's third goal. 

On 31st October, Arsenal went to Wales to play against history: The previous season, Swansea had done a double over Arsenal and two goals seemed assured for the home team with an in form newcomer Andre Ayew on their team. However, this time good goal keeping from Cech and fast defending by Bellerin maintained a clean sheet. A clever header by Giroud was Wenger's 2000th Goal in charge, Koscielny added another and Joel Campbell scored his first Arsenal goal to give Arsenal a relieving win.

When Sanchez joined Barcelona in 2011, he told Barca TV that he "learned to play football in the street". That was the kind of football Arsenal needed to beat Manchester City on Monday night 21st December without him. Theo Walcott's progressive deadlock-breaking screamer was just a replica of Alexis goals against Liverpool (4-1) and Aston Villa (FA Cup) the previous season plus Leicester (5-2) and Man Utd (3-0) this season.

GOD (call him YAHWEH, ALLAH, MUNGU, GOTT, KATONDA, DIEU, THE GREAT SPIRIT, ALA, ZHENZHU or whatever) is great, HE makes it futuristically, mystically or prophetically possible for people to see things before they happen like Words of Knowledge or Remote Viewing. I can confess that some of the Words in each of the game descriptions listed above came to me in DreamVisions on the MatchDay mornings. One way I looked at them is that they explained to me like a Minority Report what might actually transpire, Next, in the Final Destination, Back To The Future and Edge of Tomorrow. I don't know why the Visions come, maybe I love Arsenal too much (I know I do) but the absolute fact still remains, #GODisthegreatest... 


In the whole of 2015, Arsenal had the Most Wins, Most Goals Scored, Fewest Goals Conceeded, Most Clean Sheets and Most Points Won plus ended the Year at the summit of the league. Even the moon shone red for Arsenal in 2015. Happy New Year, Champs! Hope you enjoy 2016, Oezil and Cech will definitely set new Assist and Clean Sheet Records respectively! I also expect the Gunners to win at least one trophy (if not three like they did in pre-season) unless GOD says No. Victory through Harmony... 

Messi is the Greatest Club Footballer

[Greatest Of All Time]

Everytime I read or hear people arguing about Cristiano and Messi, it sounds like another jab at the obvious truth. If we judge using only FIFA Best or World Player of the Year (Ballon d'Or) awards, then it is clear that Messi is supreme with six, the next one in line is CR7 with five while the third ones all have three. I wish Messi was a Gunner!

Pele is inadvertently the Greatest Footballer because he is the only player with three World Cup medals. When it comes to inter-club football, Lionel Messi is the Greatest because he is the only player who has scored in three FIFA Club World Cup Finals, winning all three plus other trophies with Barcelona. 

Noone denies the fact that Cristiano scores many goals, even if they include many penalties, but there are over 20 players with more career goals than CR7. There are also players with more total cups won than Messi. The vote is always a fan preference debate, but comparing Cristiano to Messi is like comparing Miroslav Klose to Pele (Goalscoring Machines v Trophy Champions) and the argument keeps alternating. 

What makes Messi more appealing is his humble sleekness, Mercedes Class. His dribbling is not mechanical but agile and he definitely can run naturally at full speed past four or five opponents. Cesc Fabregas thinks Messi is more talented plus complete "tactically and footballwise" than Cristiano.

Furthermore, Messi is not selfish. He believes in winning trophies as a team instead of individual accolades and assists his teammates immensely though he still wins the individual accolades anyway. 

At a certain period, only Mesut Oezil provided more assists in Europe than Messi, but I guess he overtook the German. 

Messi chooses his moments of brilliance meticulously making him exciting. Romario was deceptively sluggish but quick and lethal in the penalty box. Messi is a modern upgrade of Romario, still short in height but fast and lethal all over the pitch. 

Messi and his wife Antonella arrive at the Zurich Venue to receive his 2015 Ballon D'Or...

Even without a World Cup medal nor Copa America (the only two trophies to elude him), Messi is a very exemplary player because he brings quality to the beautiful game. He's an Olympic Gold Medalist (Beijing 2008) and won the Under 20 World Cup with Argentina besides winning a lot at the Nou Camp.

It is amazing that he started his senior club career with an unforeseen red card on his debut plus tears but now smiles and jubilates like a natural born champion. 

Truth be told, Messi is the Greatest Club Footballer on Earth, Mars and nearby planets. Like he says, "You have to fight for what you want in life!"

Even this media-created rivalry with Cristiano will end someday. CR7 is a "goalscoring machine" but Messi has better all-time statistics in many areas and yet is two years younger. In 2018, Messi surpassed CR7 as the real Goal Machine with five European Golden Shoe Awards, one more than the Portuguese. In 2019, he extended the gap to two more and even won the UEFA Champions League Golden Boot (12 Goals), UCL Goal of the Tournament (v Liverpool in the 1st Leg of the Semis), UEFA Best Striker yet he is from South America plus FIFA's Best Men's Player of the Year for a record sixth Time (Debate Over).

He does not have to feature outside La Liga to prove himself. He has outclassed foreign teams in the UEFA Champions League for instance AC Milan, Ajax, Bayern Munich and Manchester United, just to mention a few big ones. Messi actually has better statistics than CR7 against FIFA Top 50 Teams. In 2020, Lionel Messi became the First Footballer to win the Laureus Sportsman of the Year Award.

As a Gooner, I did not feel hurt when Messi scored four goals in one game against Arsenal on Super Tuesday 6th April 2013. All I felt was: RESPECT! Arsenal only beat Messi once during a Game where Jack Wilshere overperformed in the Midfield; van Persie equalised and Arshavin netted the Winner from a Nasri Assist. Besides, the 2004 Invincible Gunners achieved immortality plus the 2005 FA Cup while facing Cristiano. Manchester United did melt my heart in 2010 during a Champions League tie at the Emirates but that was the Deepest I felt CR7's threat even though he is a great player, no Argument...

My Ultimate Arsenal XI

Since the 1998 FA Cup Final (My Enlightenment Game), I have witnessed many Gunners come and go, but here are my Main XI by 2016 Season:

1. Petr CECH (Goalkeeper)

The Czech goalkeeper holds the Premiership Record for the Most Clean Sheets. The Invincible Jens LEHMANN would be my second-choice goalkeeper while David SEAMAN would be reserved for FA Cup ties (Do you remember his impossible one-handed goalline save against Sheffield United in 2003?) Kudos to Bob WILSON and Pat JENNINGS for the heroics before I knew them…

2. Hector BELLERIN (Rightback)

Young but quick-footed, I would place the Spaniard ahead of the brave Cameroonian LAUREN Etame Meyer (Substitute in case of Penalty Shootout)…

3. Tony ADAMS (Centreback Captain)

Mr. Arsenal is the only Player to captain an English club in three different decades (1980s, 1990s, and 2000s) plus won three doubles (The unusual double was beating Sheffield Wednesday 2-1 in both the FA Cup and League Cup finals). Laurent KOSCIELNY can deputise in his absence…

4. Sol CAMPBELL (Centreback)

Strong, solid and dedicated, Sol was the backbone of the Invincibles New Guard alongside Kolo TOURE…

5. Ashley COLE (Leftback)

It is hard choosing an Arsenal leftback: SANTOS was promising but left early, SILVINHO tried and so does Kieran GIBBS, but Ashley COLE brought with him an amazing drive and enthusiasm to win…

6. Patrick VIEIRA (Central Defensive Midfielder)

The talismanic giant clad in jersey number 4 (replaced by Cesc FABREGAS) was one of the three players who made me marvel at Arsenal. The other was his French teammate Emmanuel PETIT because of their “retreating defence” partnership and fearlessness…

7. Robert PIRES (Attacking Midfielder)

During the May 2002 Trophy Presentation, his teammates bowed down before him as he lifted up the EPL Cup on the podium dressed in trousers and an Arsenal shirt. He was still recovering from an injury that ended his season in February but still grabbed the Football Writers’ Player of the Year Award, I cannot say more…

8. Mesut OEZIL (Free-role Midfielder)

The Turkish-German Assist Master was a revelation for Wenger since 2013 creating goals like a wellspring. Just find Oezil! If I was to pick a playmaker from the past for this position, I would choose Liam BRADY…

9. Dennis BERGKAMP (Midfielder)

The Flying Dutchman was a menace to opponents by playing “No Nonsense” Football. His sublime skills made him a darling at Highbury. Bergkamp's testimonial was the First Game played at the brand new Emirates Stadium (Ashburton Grove), great Memory in 2006! I wish his countrymate Robin van PERSIE had stayed longer. Besides the Dutchmen, Freddie LJUNGBERG, Nwankwo KANU and Sylvain WILTORD impressed too…

10. Ian WRIGHT (Striker)

The Englishman was the first Gunner I marveled at (around 1994), but I wasn’t so much into the Premier League. My Biggest Weekly Interest was Michael JORDAN. Then, since MJ23 was retiring the second time in 1998, Arsenal took over in Wright’s final game for Arsenal though on the bench. I still wonder how I missed getting to know Michael THOMAS (1989) at a time I liked Liverpool’s John BARNES or Alan SMITH (1994)…

11. Thierry HENRY (Main Striker)

He needs no introduction, definitely the Greatest Gunner ever, an Invincible 49er. If I was to name his replacement, then maybe Davor Suker, Eduardo da Silva or Olivier Giroud if not Cliff Bastin, Ted Drake or Charlie George from the Past. The Team Manager would be Arsene WENGER (the Invincible One), assisted by Herbert CHAPMAN or the other way round…

Why I Still Adore Arsenal (by Aiko)

Aiko (Cartoonist)

Let’s go back; back to the beginning! My name is Aiko (Cartoonist), Fullname: Edward Aiko'bua. I feel like Gilbert Thomas Webster having a fun day with his friend Herbert Chapman, trying to put on a Benjamin Franklin smile. I became a Gooner on Saturday 16th May 1998 (at 14 years) while watching the FA Cup Final against Newcastle United alone with my legs on a table in Kampala, Uganda. I was born in 1984 and got enlightened about English football in the 1980s but only fancied Liverpool’s John Barnes by my 5th birthday. In the 90s, I liked Tottenham’s David Ginola, Arsenal’s Ian Wright and then Manchester United’s prideful Eric Cantona.

However I never really supported any English Club. Brazil and Bayern Munich (Football Made in Germany) plus individual footballers were my major interests. What really compelled me to Arsenal though was the “retreating defence” method of attempting to win the ball in midfield from an opponent possessing it.

Portrait of Petit (by Aiko) 

Emmanuel Petit and Patrick Vieira executed it best with Joy, Victory and Commitment. Other teams couldn’t bully Arsenal in midfield, I felt. The traditional technique is like the steal in basketball. Since Michael Jordan was retiring from the NBA, I wondered which other sportsperson could be as interesting every month. Central defensive midfielders Cesc Fabregas (El Matador) and Francis Coquelin (The Coq) continued the tradition alongside other Gunners even though not mentioned. One good example of retreating defence was when Vieira (who left in 2005) returned in 2006 with Juventus during the very last UCL season at Highbury, Pires stole the ball from his former teammate and started a counter attack that ended in a goal by Fabregas. Arsenal won 2-0.

During the 1999 season, I followed some of Arsenal’s games until they failed to retain their double. The 2000 season was similar and ended with defeat in the UEFA Cup Final – Arsenal lost to Galatasaray on penalties after a goalless draw. The promise to become champions was still there and I kept following Arsenal. Losing the 2001 FA Cup Final rattled me so much that I even cursed GOD, though I repented immediately or else HE would have struck me dead like Ananias and Sapphira for worms to consume immediately next to a clay wellspring where we used to fetch water. My Favourite Arsenal Goal of All-Time was the stunning 2-1 winner scored by (one of the Unsung Heroes) Ray Parlour against Valencia at Highbury in the Champions League on Wednesday 4th April 2001. It was night-time in Kampala but I ran out of the house screaming and ran back straight to my unconcerned sisters in their room to tell them about it. The Spaniards had already scored a vital away goal but two second-half goals in two minutes (Equaliser by Henry assisted by a  Pires backheel) made Ray Parlour's quickfire strike a stunner. He took the ball from Kanu's shoe near the centre circle, stepped forward a little and blasted in from distance, oooomph! This is London! The Quarterfinal Hurdle was hard to overcome till 2006, but this goal stands out in all the attempts since 1998.

During the 2002 Premiership season after a 3-3 draw on 30th October 2001 where Blackburn Rovers equalised twice at Highbury (The name Michael Ricketts who equalised for Bolton at Highbury for 1-1 the preceding month stuck in my head like a disease), I held up a Bible with my hostelmates as witnesses and swore that I would never, never, never never support Arsenal again. LORD forgive me 'coz little did I know that by midweek, I would be celebrating a 3-1 victory over Mallorca in the Champions League. From that irresistible turnaround night, I have not looked back and felt rewarded with Double Happiness at the end of the season, thanks to Freddie Ljungberg and company. What I grasped was that: sometimes you lose, other times you win. Even a draw can be any of both, so forget the misery and celebrate the successes! 

I actually watched the 2002 FA Cup Final in my High School's Dining Room on Supersport 3 while listening to Five Live Commentary from BBC. Radio waves travel faster than TV waves so I bet I was among the first viewers in the hall to jump up and scream when Freddie netted Arsenal's second goal 10 minutes after Parlour's 70th minute screamer.

Boarding school students usually escape to go clubbing, rendezvous with friends from other schools or for concerts, but I used to sneak out to watch Arsenal games at Klub 5 (Behind Margaret Trowell School of Industrial and Fine Arts) or in Nakulabye opposite Nicodemus Pork Joint and was never caught, not even once unlike some of my schoolmates who even got whipped. I wore a pale green University of Sheffield jumper plus spectacles as camouflage and changed my locomotion while returning for Saturday movies or Sunday night prep so that the teachers on duty would mistake me for an outsider from the nearby Makerere University Kampala. When clear, I took them off to reveal the compulsory school uniform shirt.

The 2004 season while at Uganda Christian University (Mukono) was simply unbelievable, but the best moment for me during the extended 49 game unbeaten run was equaling Nottingham Forest’s 42 game record. I watched the game in a packed neighbourhood joint (Big Daddy's Shiners Pub in Kyebando Kisalosalo, a KLA Suburb) and remained hopeful even when Arsenal went down 1-3 by halftime. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s goal for Middlesbrough literally brought back for me deja vu from the 1999 season when his late winner for Leeds United stopped Arsenal from defending their Premiership title. Luckily, Dennis Bergkamp used his experience to pull one back for a gloomy Arsenal but the real excitement started when Supersub Robert Pires beat the offside trap to score the equaliser only five minutes after coming on. We jumped and shouted until the goal replays were replaced with live footage. But even before sitting back on the pub bench, Arsenal was launching another attack. Jose Antonio Reyes dummied a falling defender with his left heel, cut right and fired up into the right innerside net with his less favoured right boot. More jumping and shouting literally recommenced within a minute. The record was now intact and Thierry Henry finished off the game the way he started it, 5-3 it ended.

Failure to win trophies stopped meaning anything; I realised that goals plus attempts, dribbles and saves were actually the thrill.


In the 2005 season, Arsenal didn't defend their Golden Premiership but won the FA Cup against Manchester United, then failed to win again for nine years.

I did not mind because in between were some nice memories including the record for Longest Time before conceeding a goal in the 2006 Champions League; The move to Ashburton Grove; Cesc Fabregas on fire in 2007 (scoring Goals in the last 10 minutes for fun); Comeback Wins Record in 2010 season; Great Games like the First Win against Barcelona at the Emirates (where Jack Wilshere shone and Robin van Persie scored from a very tight angle); King Henry’s Second Coming in 2012; Arrival of German star Mesut Oezil in 2013 and then eventually the 2014 FA Cup.

In 2002 (the glory year), a high school hostelmate nicknamed “Philo” (Rest in Peace) used to bring me newspapers so that I could cut out Arsenal related material and create for him a 96 paged (Arsenal Exclusive) scrapbook. He admired the ones I had made for myself and wanted in. My reward was to keep the newspapers, they were quite many. We met again after university in January 2007 at Corner View Inn Ntinda (Kampala, Uganda) – the first day Arsenal played Manchester United at the Emirates Stadium and reminiesced about life gone by as we watched. When Henry headed in the extra time winner, I ran to the window of the storeyed building and screamed down into the noisy traffic until I lost my voice. Lights were flashing allover at dusk. Unfortunately on the Saturday morning of the 2014 FA Cup Final while I was in Arua, a facebook post by Senior 5 deskmate James Nkuubi (Erican Eye) tagging me broke the sad news that he had hanged himself on Tuesday that week because of overwhelming debts. Someone commented that the story even featured on Bukedde TV's Agataliko Nfufu (a compelling Luganda News Bulletin). Unfortunately, I did not watch the report. Despite dedicating the final in memory of him, I did not celebrate in full like I wanted to. I just wished he was alive to witness his Favourite Club clinch another trophy. LORD have mercy!

When you fail to win a trophy, just celebrate the GOALS! The journey to achieve success is meant to be enjoyed. I still adore Arsenal even without a Champions League title and wish them many more classic goals every game. The character Doc in Cars (2006 Pixar Animation) wonderfully advised, “A trophy is just an empty cup…”

LANESRA: She Wore a Red and White Scarf

Last but not least, the Arsenal Ladies also have their spark. Arguably the Most Successful Team in Football because of their Trophies to Years-in-existence ratio, I bet in future: Women's Super League football will get as much attention as the men's game. The FIFA Women's World Cup is breaking the barriers and maybe I will also be able to write more about the likes of Alex Scott, Kelly Smith and the Chamberlain Lady. The Best Ladies all love Arsenal...

My Greatest Footballers as a Team

In Primary Three (1992), my teacher asked me what I wanted to become when I grow up. I told her: "Footballer"; It was a Religious Education assignment. Unfortunately, three years later when my mum moved from my birthplace (Jinja, Uganda) to the nation's capital (Kampala) where my dad was working and residing, my professional soccer dream literally collapsed and died. I dreamt of doing graphics instead. Nevertheless, I kept playing and watching football just for fun plus became a diehard Gooner for life in 1998. Here are my Favourite XI Footballers of all-time (not necessarily FIFA's Greatest but includes seven Europeans, six Rightfooted outfield players, five Gunners, four South Americans, three Black-skinned players, two Barcelona legends and one Englishman) in a 4-3-2-1 formation. 


I would select them to face off with other Planets, or against Marvel Superheroes. High five, we are one!

1. Petr CECH (Goalkeeper)

If you ask me why I did not choose Yashin, Shilton, Zoff, Buffon, Kahn, Stein, Neuer, Chilavert, Seaman, Lehmann, Schmeichel, Enyeama, (Ugandan) Wasswa or Cassillas, the reason is simple: Cech plays like an alien from outerspace but with citizenship from Czech Republic. He doesn't make too many mistakes that lead to a goal. Cech also holds the record for Most Clean Sheets in English Premier League history, and his protective headgear looks really helpful for a goalie. Like (American rapper) Ice Cube sings, "Better check (Petr Cech) yourself before you wreck yourself!"

2. Hector BELLERIN (Rightback)

Definitely the Youngest on my List, Bellerin makes it here because of his calmness, good dribbling skills and Flash Gordon speed; The Spaniard is even faster than the Fastest 100 Metre Olympian (Usain Bolt) in a 40 metre dash. I could have listed Lauren, Lahm, Alves, Cafu or  another, however The Flash is just too fast, holds the beacon here for the quickfooted, young and future generations.

3. Franz BECKENBAUER (Centreback Captain)

His football genesis was before I was born, but archive videos don't lie. The German had authority at the back and when moving forward through the middle, truly "Der Kaiser". He was the First Person to win the World Cup as a Player (1974) and then a Coach (1990), my second World Cup while a humanbeing. I bet West Germany's World Cup-winning captain Matthaeus was inspired by his coach. Real Madrid's Spanish defender Hierro could also fit here.

4. Sol CAMPBELL (Centreback)

Even with an already good "Old Guard" led by Tony Adams, Arsenal seemed to become stronger at centreback when a youthful Campbell joined in the 2002 Premiership and FA Cup double-winning plus Unbeaten Away record-making period (The Gunners attributed it to a "winning mentality" and striving to feel at home in away venues before matchday). The Englishman was also an Invincible 49er in his third season and scored the first ever Arsenal goal in a Champions League Final. One of the two things I respect about Tottenham Hotspurs (Arsenal's Biggest Rivals from the same North London neighbourhood) is selling their Sol to Arsenal. The other is David Ginola while he played for Spurs in the early 90s, but I did not add him to this list.

5. Roberto CARLOS (Left back)

A powerful leftfoot coupled with energetic bursts forward made the Brazilian a very reliable left back. Add his wall-breaking power shots plus swerving freekicks, and we have a complete defence here. No substitution required unless injured.

6. Patrick VIEIRA (Midfielder)

The Wildman at Highbury was a solid rock in the midfield. Sometimes, opponents gave him a right of way and he won several tackles when he did not have the ball, the epitome of Arsenal's traditional "retreating defence" method. The Senegal-born Frenchman alongside his 1998 World Cup winning countrymate Emmanuel Petit plus Ian Wright (since 1994) were the main reasons I became a Gooner. Thierry Henry, Robert Pires and the other lads just made it last even longer, now it's hard to break free. One night, I felt my heart  melt when Arsenal was trailing by three goals in a Champions League knockout game at the Emirates. So, I just slept in order to wake up with a renewed heart. I don't believe tears, irritability nor suicide are an option, there is always a time for the Sweetest Revenge.

7. Zinedine ZIDANE (Midfielder)

On a good day, playing at 100 percent efficiency, the (Algerian) French legend nicknamed Zizou was simply the Best Playmaker, no head-butting! He also collects the ball from deep and has a wonderful 360 degree stepover. GOD save the King! If Zidane didn't make it to my list, then this position could have been filled by Pires. He can surely act a Jesus flick with that face, but I liked "le Footballeur" due to the way he cut in from the left wing for France in Euro 2000 and crossed to teammates for a goal. He also scored his own successes at Arsenal, some of which were very fantastic before leaving in 2006. Remember Pires against Boateng and Schmeichel at Aston Villa or his hattrick against Southampton? Classic, shaking my head up and down with a smile! Iniesta also fits the bill.

8. Mesut OEZIL (Midfielder)

The Turkish-German Assist Master is so gifted with vision in the modern game that you will be forgiven if you think he actually knows in advance what his teammate in a goalscoring position is going to do with his pass. Any player can make an assist, but only Mesut makes an "oezil". The Oxford English Dictionary has to add it as one of its three new word entrys some year: to 'ozil' is 'to assist someone'. Place Romario, Pele or Messi ahead of him, and the game is on. ALLAHu akbar (GOD is the greatest)! I left out Baggio, Guardiola, Xavi, Rivaldo and Figo, but they can fill in!

9. Lionel MESSI (Striker)

Fast, sleek and out of this world, the leftfooted Argentine Midget makes football look very exciting. Do you remember the Champions League goal against Bayern Munich's World Cup winners Boateng and Neuer at the Nou Camp in 2015 (Retribution) or Copa Del Rey Final finish against a difficult Athletic Bilbao? Field him on the right flank in your tactics and witness magic that is Messi-merising (Allow me to quip here). Even without a World Cup medal which his great countrymate Maradona won, Messi is still the Most Agile Player in Club Football history on earth and neighbouring planets because he can run fast and dribble at the same time past five different players. Sorry Cristiano Ronaldo, but Lionel Andres Messi (Leo) is the King, game over, no worries!

10. ROMARIO (Striker)

He was a huge inspiration for my dream of becoming a footballer and shone at the FIFA World Cup USA '94 for winners Brazil. Deceptively sluggish, Romario was very lethal in Zone 14 (Penalty box), a typical fox in the box who scored over 1000 goals. Real Madrid's Raul Gonzalez was also built for this. No room for Wright, Cantona and Barnes plus Roger Milla and George Weah from Africa but they were great too! Na na na na Giroud!

11. PELE (Striker)

Well, he is considered the Greatest Player Ever because Pele is the only one with three World Cups. The Brazilian won his first Jules Rimet Trophy at 17 years of age and scored so many goals in his entire career. Josef "Pepsi" Bican and Ferenc Puskas, roger that! Brazil never lost a single game with Pele and Garrincha on the same pitch. Born with deformed knees and left leg actually shorter than the right, Garrincha is still the Best Dribbler and Rightwinger ever plus won two World Cups. Denilson (1998) must have been his dribbling copy.

My Best African XI in Premiership History

Since the English Premier League rebranded in 1992, many foreign players have featured in it. Here are my Finest from the African Continent:

1. Bruce GROBBELAAR 
His trademark moustache and goalline heroics made the Zimbabwean a Liverpool legend, something like the
scorpion kick goalkeeper Rene Higuita in shorts. 

2. LAUREN Etame Meyer
When Cameroon won the African Cup of Nations before his move to Arsenal, Lauren stood out for me as a calm and collected penalty taker. With his versatility on the right flank and crosses, the 2004 Invincibles fittingly benefitted from his efforts. 

3. Lucas RADEBE
Leeds FC was on fire in the early 2000s and the South African captain was part of their unbelievable engine as centre back. Elland Road deservedly witnessed a UEFA Champions League semifinal in 2001. 

4. Kolo TOURE 
He scored his first Premiership goal on his debut - Sunday 1st October 2002 (Also the day I became a Muslim), but Arsene Wenger transformed him from a striker to a reliable defender alongside Sol Campbell after the departure of Tony Adams. He was truly an Invincible 49er. 

5. Sulley MUNTARI 
With a powerful left shot and dribbling acumen, Muntari had class at Sunderland and an eye for goal at Portsmouth. 

6. Michael ESSIEN 
Very strong Ghanaian but marauded quite fast, was a wall in the midfield and scored some powerful goals. 

7. Augustine Jay Jay OKOCHA 
If you are looking for a dribbler and entertainer from Africa, then this is the man! The Nigerian impressed during the 1998 FIFA World Cup with his sidestepping stepover plus an audacious "rainbow" dribble of lifting the ball directly from the ground over an opponent with his heels. His long range goals in the Premiership are a collector's item. 

8. YAYA TOURE 
A force to reckon with, was very instrumental in Manchester City's first Premiership title win and has been African Player of the Year a number of times. He is the Patrick Vieira of the lot. 

9. Nwankwo KANU 
The beanpole Nigerian played soccer like the ball was tied to his shoelaces. Most Unforgettable Premiership Moment was when he came on as a substitute with Chelsea leading 2-0 at Stamford Bridge in 1999 and scored a game-winning hattrick within 15 minutes. The winner came in extra time. Power went off at halftime in Kampala (Uganda) where I was residing, with Chelsea already 2 goals ahead but the following night after having given up
because of the superior way Chelsea played, I saw the full time results and screamed while my mum was knitting. She probably wondered what was wrong with me. Kanu was part of the Invincibles and also won the FA Cup for Portsmouth with a cheeky backheel. 

10. Samuel ETO'O 
He had already won everything, minus the World Cup of course, before joining Chelsea and then Everton but he makes my list because of his outstanding history. Even in the Premiership, he still reminded us of his past brilliance, how about a hattrick against the mighty Manchester United? 

11. Didier DROGBA 
When he joined Chelsea, I told my
cousin that everyone was going to hear about Didier. I just felt it in my spirit despite being a Gooner. Funny thing is, he was also a Gooner while growing up but kept tormenting Arsenal whenever the Gunners played the Blues. Overall though, his strength, relaxed game reading and zest for success puts him at the top of my list, the First Player to win a UEFA Champions League title for a London club. Maybe Arsenal's first triumph will come through a European or another African, GOD-willing! 

My Substitutes would include: Tony YEBOAH, Benni McCARTHY, Andre AYEW, Taribo WEST and George WEAH...

Retreating Defence

During the 1948 Football League (Division 1) campaign, “…much of Arsenal’s success came from the reliability of their defensive method. (Skipper) Joe MERCER labelled it as the ‘retreating’ defence. The prevailing style of the day was to try and win the ball in midfield with an attempted tackle on the opponent in possession. If that tackle was lost then there was little sophisticated covering. Mercer, with MACAULAY as a shrewd ally, preferred Arsenal to leave the ball with the opposition and back off, packing the centre of defence. Arsenal’s captain had noted the success of such manoeuvres in basketball during the war, when he’d played service games with Americans. The crowd did not always like the tactic, newspaper comment denounced it as negative, but the rest of the First Division, with the exception of Derby County, who beat Arsenal twice, could not fathom a solution. The seven-point margin at the end of the season was ample testimony to Arsenal’s worth as Champions.”

- (Excerpt from) The OFFICIAL Illustrated History of Arsenal 1886-2004, by Phil Soar & Martin Tyler, Page 93

Laurent KOSCIELNY (Boss-cielny)

"Our Defence is Kevin Costner..." - MODENINE