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| The Emirates Pharaoh |
FOR THE LOVE OF ARSENAL
There are crazy things people do just to catch an Arsenal game in real time whether at the Emirates or on TV wherever they might be on the Planet. I once heard a West African narrate a story on BBC radio how he would ride his bicycle for miles to the next town just to watch a TV showing Gunners play. One night while returning through a bush, he met a lion. However he rode faster than he has ever ridden his entire life just to survive the man-eater, hahaha!
Students sneak out of school to go clubbing or for some other functions and events; I would sneak out during Advanced Level (2001-2) at Makerere College School only to surf internet, buy something I really needed that wasn't at school and to watch Arsenal games at Klub 5 (within Makerere University Kampala) or Nakulabye, down north. On Saturdays (Movie Nights) despite abrupt afternoon roll calls, I would watch selected Arsenal games and return through the back door of the movie hall that was only opened when students wanted to ease themselves. Stealthily, I would wait until some students came out, then pretend that I had also gone to ease myself and get marked present during roll call after the movies like a smooth criminal. I lost my brown "owl" spectacles during one outing but also risked expulsion from my hostel. Luckily, I was never caught nor whipped unlike some of my boarding schoolmates. I always returned with a different gait and the mentality that I was "unrecognisable by teachers on duty" while wearing camouflage (a University of Sheffield pullover my mum gave me plus spectacles I rarely wore after praying for the healing of my eye defects) and took them off just before entering my classroom for Sunday night prep; school uniform was compulsory at all times outside the hostel.
During the 2003 to 4 unbeaten run while on campus at UCU Mukono, Manchester United got an unfair last minute penalty at Old Trafford that I strongly believed would gift them a 1-0 win. However when Ruud van Nistelrooy hit the crossbar, I screamed so loud and even ran out of the Hostel Common Room that had so many people in it. I celebrated outside for more than two minutes and didn't even watch the final moments. Then after outsiders walked out, that is when I realised that my phone was missing. On trying to call using an MTN PubliCom on the outside wall, my line had been switched off. I just knew my phone was gone, so I returned to my hostel a mile away unhappy. Nevertheless, a hostelmate tried my number later in the night and the lady on the receiving end said I could pick my phone in the morning. She cooked food at the hostel where I had watched the game. Although she used all the airtime I had left to call people in the UK, I was happy that I got back my Ericsson brick.
Sometimes while watching an Arsenal game that would end beyond midnight, I would ask myself what would happen while returning home. Of course GOD protects but why should I risk my life for a late night midweek Carling Cup game that Arsenal would probably lose? How about Danny Rose's first goal for Tottenham in a 2-1 Spurs win that ended Arsenal's title challenge? Game ended after midnight and I had to walk home alone on the dark street from Heritage Park asking myself why I came to watch! The Premiership games played just after dusk because of the timezone in East Africa are fairer plus some Champions League fixtures were unmissable, but close to midnight, I would meet drunkards in Kampala spilling uncoordinated thoughts. You cannot tell whether they are harmlessly threatening or potentially menacing. Passing near the deadly Barifa Forest via Mvara Road in Arua would also frighten me a bit when there was no moonlight. Thugs always destroyed streetlights. Once while I returned in the dark night, I noticed that the signpost of a wonderful joint called Greenwood on Weatherhead Park Lane was still intact. The following day when I went to buy some sodas from there around lunchtime, I asked the lady in charge what had happened to their signpost. She informed me that thugs had stolen it. That had to be after midnight coz I had seen it hours behind but I didn't tell her so as not to raise suspicion that I was the thief and just pretending to feel concerned.
Having grown up together in Kampala, my cousin Edwin (a Manchester United fan who stayed in Ociba) took me to the first place I ever watched an Arsenal match in my ancestral city: a Garage in Osu, an Arua suburb. When returning home after 9 PM, he escorted me to the edge of the golf course and I followed a boda-bicycle carrying a passenger. It was the early 2000s and nightlights were scarce (WENRECo - West Nile Electrification Company, started around 2003). I didn't know the geography of the area and passed a different route. Worried that a witchdoctor or nightdancer might kidnap me in an area with so many unfinished houses, I just continued walking placing my hope in angelic protection. Luckily, the road connected with the one I already knew and was very happy to reach home safe. So I decided to explore Arua during daytime until I knew many corners thanks to Arsenal. I was also inspired to invent a parabolic dish receiver in the 2000s plus wave loop antenna for clear Short Wave Listening of Arsenal matches in the 2010s. I'm still amazed at the clear radio stations I would pick up at night from as far as Bunyoro and Kenya with my dish antenna though it was dismantled.
I used to wish that I could listen or pray to GOD plus read the Word more enthusiastically than I anticipate an Arsenal kickoff. LORD, have mercy...
